Blog Post 1
I am great at talking and conversation, so I thought a blog could be a great venture for me, but being extremely insecure about not only my writing abilities, but myself in general, I stalled endlessly. Self sabotage and excuses became a very painful block, until one day I was so frustrated with myself (and how much I was missing out on) that weakness morphed into strength. Despite summing this up in one sentence, it did not happen overnight.
I first started to investigate and learn about confidence, since I knew this was one of the qualities I severely lacked. I began with literally typing “the definition of confidence” into Google and reading it in depth. I began uncovering just how deep this issue ran. I’d been struggling with a lack of confidence – which I thought was easily hidden and a non-issue – from as far back as I remember, and now it was spilling over into nearly every area of my life. No area was left untouched – professional, personal, creative, my identity – and the perception of others dragged me down like extra weight I couldn’t shake. I was frozen in fear, lacking confidence to move forward in anything I was doing.
I have always admired others’ ability to freely make choices and decisions without worrying about what other people think. To live how you want without considering the thoughts, perceptions or comments from the outside world! What a freedom cloud that must be to sit on.
Recently I listened to Glennon Doyle on a podcast talking about exactly this topic, releasing her work or writing into the open, and how many other people have the exact same fear. This fear prevents people from ever showing their art, writing or creativity, keeping ideas locked away in minds with a dark fate of never being known. Putting yourself out there to be judged, misunderstood or perceived in a way you did not intend is terrifying. Glennon’s message is that your job is to create and hit publish. Beyond that, it is not your responsibility. Once you release it, literally and figuratively release it. I paused the podcast and thought about this, letting it sink in. The concept of letting it go once I hit publish was not one I had even considered. Worrying endlessly and trying to cover every possible avenue of criticism (and how I could respond) had consumed my thoughts.
How do we learn to let go of the perception from others that slyly weaves in the back door, affecting the way we live, the choices we make and even if we ever launch the business or chase the dream?
By watching those who seem fearless and launch whatever business they want, we know it is possible. But what is the secret?
The secret is letting go of fear and choosing yourself.
Once you take away fear, the only thing left is to implement the practices for growth, throw caution and worry to the wind and embrace the next phase – I will put myself out there, offering others my experience and knowledge about business, chronic pain, physical and emotional pain and a real look at my life, in hopes of connecting and building a comfortable safe place for others like me to show up just as they are.
On this blog, I will be sharing what I have learned, what I have lost and the tools I use to help navigate the world with chronic pain. I will also let you in on the one thing I learned that changed my life. You can begin to think and act on it right now, where you sit.
I will leave you with this one question to ponder:
Do you need or seek validation from outside, through doctors, family, loved ones, society, (or anywhere else!)?
Or do you accept your situation and not feel the need to define it or explain it to anyone because you know and that is all that you need? I don’t mean support, – everyone needs the care and support of those around them – but actual validation, for the days when you need to do nothing but care for yourself?
Thank you for reading this first-ever blog post. I hope to see you back again so we can ride this out together!
From this blog:
Magic Lessons with Elizabeth Gilbert, Episode 209: “Show Up Before You’re Ready” featuring Glennon Doyle Melton